The Conflicting Emotion

Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage. You have to walk carefully in the beginning of love; the running across fields into your lover’s arms can only come later when you’re sure they won’t laugh if you trip. I remembered the saying of Mother Teresa “The hunger for love is much more difficult to remove than the hunger for bread.” It’s seems to me very true….well, bringing any new thought again, let you read, my story, yes it’s mine….mirror of self reflection, my mirror image or maybe it’s your mirror image, find it…..the real image of me or may be it’s your mirror image….. The conflicting emotion of real and mirror image…..

I think one of the hardest things we do in life is putting ourselves back out there after we’ve been hurt. I have only been in love with one person. That person destroyed me. I mean, it’s scary enough falling in love, but to pick the pieces up from my last relationship and decide I’m ready to try it again, is even scarier. There is no question in my mind that I’m falling in love with NG. She is everything I need and everything I want. She is just as scared as I am though. Maybe even more. I’ve definitely had more healing time than she has and I understand where she is coming from. I don’t want to be in love with someone who isn’t going to want me. Or who is just going to hurt me. I’m tired of that.

I cannot imagine my life without NG right now. She’s one of my best friends. Whenever we’re together, we always stay up so late talking. And I love that. What’s better than sharing your fears and secrets with someone you care about, while having a smile on your face? If this doesn’t work out, I think I’ll be okay with that. But right now, it’s new and exciting and she’s all I want.
That’s all. Just wanted to let you all know that things are looking up and I’m happy. Really happy.

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